Jewish Advocate

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By Rebbetzin Korff - Saturday May 17 2008

What is the importance of the Jewish religion
Dear Rebbetzin,
What do you think is the most fulfilling part of Judaism? Sometimes I feel that I don't really think about what it means to be Jewish. I am curious to hear why religion is so important to you.
Oren

Dear Oren,
Judaism is really not a religion at all. The most fulfilling part of Judaism is understanding that Judaism is a complete way of life, a system for leading a very happy, productive, fulfilling and meaningful life.
If we really study and involve ourselves in Judaism as a comprehensive lifestyle and understand its beauty and its meaning for our lives, that you too will find it important.
If you take that approach you won’t have to think about what it means to be Jewish because you’ll be experiencing and living it first-hand.

To settle or not to settle down?
Dear Rebbetzin,
My Bubby keeps pressuring me to find a wife so I can have grandchildren. I keep telling her that I am dating people and having fun and focusing on my career. But she won’t listen to me! She tells me that I need to settle down. How can I explain to her that I am not ready to start having kids?
Ben

Dear Ben,
It sounds to me like you already have explained that to her. It’s certainly only natural for close relatives like your grandmother (and presumably your parents) to look at things from their own perspective, but of course you need to decide in your heart what is best for you.
At the same time you can’t just dismiss what they say either. You do seem to be concentrating only on your career and “having fun,” rather than building lasting relationships that will provide deeper meaning to your life.
There is no question that one shouldn’t get married simply because you want to have children, and certainly not because someone else wants you to have children or to satisfy your grandmother or your parents, and you shouldn't get married when you really aren’t ready to settle down.
On the other hand, you must also give some thought to what is truly important in life and what your goals are in the long term.
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